Bounce Back, Black Woman! | Healing, Personal Growth, & Resilience

Episode 133: Coffee, Chemistry, and All the Things We Overthink
Dating has a way of turning one cup of coffee into a twelve-part strategic forecast.
What should you wear?
Will the conversation flow?
Will there be chemistry?
What if you like him and he doesn’t like you—or he likes you and you don’t like him?
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del shares the funny story behind an upcoming coffee date that began only after she paid for Bumble—and promptly matched with someone on the free version of Hinge.
But the bigger story isn’t the date itself. It’s the growth Del recognized when she realized she wasn’t anxious, future-casting, or trying to decide how she should present herself. She was simply looking forward to meeting another person and seeing whether their easy phone chemistry translated in person.
This episode offers a grounded way to approach dating: stay open without getting ahead of yourself, remain discerning without allowing fear to take over, and remember that you are not auditioning for someone else’s approval.
In This Episode
Why a first date is not an audition
The questions to ask yourself instead of only wondering whether the other person likes you
Why chemistry can invite another conversation but cannot prove compatibility
How we make potential carry the weight of a promise
The difference between discernment and fear
Why one interaction should be allowed to remain one interaction
How to protect yourself without closing yourself off
Why rejection or a lack of mutual chemistry is information—not a verdict on your worth
How friends can support women who are navigating modern dating
Questions to Carry Into Your Next Date
Do I feel comfortable?
Do I feel heard?
Can I relax and be myself?
Does this person seem genuinely curious about me?
Do their words and behavior align?
Do I enjoy the person I am when I’m interacting with them?
A Reminder From This Episode
The goal of a first date is not to determine whether someone is your person. It is simply to discover whether you would enjoy having a second conversation.
You can be hopeful without getting ahead of yourself.
You can enjoy someone’s attention without depending on it.
You can allow experience to make you wiser without allowing it to make you harder.
For Friends Supporting Someone Who Is Dating
Practical safety conversations are loving and necessary. But support does not have to turn one date into either a threat assessment or a bridal consultation.
Let your friend enjoy the possibility without inflating it or puncturing it.
Sometimes the most supportive response is simply:
“That sounds promising. Have fun. Be yourself. Pay attention to how you feel, and tell me about it afterward.”
Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE
Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE.
This live virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation about dating, relationships, standards, hope, disappointment, loneliness, companionship, and connection—with plenty of reflection and laughter too.
Register to join us  at the Kitchen Table Conversation here!
I’d love to have you at the table.
What’s REALLY holding you back?
If you’re ready to uncover what may be standing between you and where you want to be—and identify your next intentional step—take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment.
Take the FREE assessment here!
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.comAvailable on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

STUCK or STILL: How Do You Know the Difference?
Being stuck doesn't always mean your whole life has stopped.
Sometimes life keeps moving while one part of you keeps circling the same question.
In Episode 132 of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del shares a personal story from her marriage to explore the difference between being stuck and intentionally being still.
She also offers a glimpse into the kinds of questions coaching can bring to moments when you know something needs to change but can't seem to get clear about what comes next.
In this episode:
What “stuck” can actually look like in everyday life
The difference between processing what you feel and getting clear about what you want to do
Why being still isn't necessarily the same as being stuck
Coaching-style questions to help you examine your own situation
How to begin identifying what's really holding you back
Your Bounce Back Challenge
Choose one area of your life where you've been waiting and ask:
What's happening inside the waiting?
What is staying here costing me?
You don't have to solve everything. Start by getting curious about the answers.
What's REALLY Holding You Back?
If something is keeping you from where you want to be but you aren't quite sure what it is, take Coach Del's free What's REALLY Holding You Back? assessment.
Visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com or use the link provided with this episode.
Join the Kitchen Table Conversation!
Our next live Kitchen Table Conversation is:
Monday, September 21, 20268:00–9:00 PM ETFree • Live on ZoomLimited to 25 seats
REGISTER HERE (or visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com to register)
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com (Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms)
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: HERE

Episode 131: Why We Eat, Shop, and Scroll When We're Stressed
You've had a DAY.
You're stressed, lonely, disappointed, overwhelmed—or maybe you simply feel off.
What do you reach for?
Food?
Amazon?
The remote?
Social media?
Work?
A drink?
Or maybe...that person you KNOW you have absolutely no business texting?
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores the everyday ways we reach for comfort—and why the behavior itself may not be the most important part of the story.
Food isn't inherently the problem.
Shopping isn't inherently the problem.
Watching television isn't inherently the problem.
The deeper question is:
What job are you asking that behavior—or person—to do for you?
In This Episode
Why wanting comfort is completely human
The difference between enjoying something and using it to avoid a feeling
How food can become more than food
Why shopping can provide anticipation, control, reward, or something to look forward to
How scrolling, streaming, sleeping, working, and constant busyness can become forms of escape
Why some coping behaviors are actually rewarded as productivity or ambition
How people, sex, attention, and validation can also become things we "reach for"
The difference between comforting yourself and escaping yourself
Why paying attention to how you feel afterward can reveal what a behavior is really doing
Why simply removing a coping behavior without understanding the need underneath it may not work
How awareness creates the opportunity to make a different choice
Comfort vs. Numbing
Comfort says:
"This hurts, and I'm going to care for myself while I'm experiencing it."
Numbing says:
"I don't want to experience this. Give me something that makes it disappear."
Sometimes the exact same activity can be either one.
The question isn't simply what you're doing.
It's the job you're asking it to perform.
A Reminder From This Episode
Sometimes we're trying to remove the solution our brain found without addressing the problem it was trying to solve.
Instead of immediately asking:
"How do I stop doing this?"
Try asking:
"What does this do for me?"
What feeling does it give you?
What feeling does it help you avoid?
What need are you trying to meet?
And is there another way to meet that need without creating another problem?
Faith Reflection
Psalm 46 reminds us to:
"Be still, and know that I am God."
Sometimes stillness is difficult because it creates room for the thoughts and feelings we've been trying not to experience.
Instead of immediately reaching for something to change how we feel, sometimes we can create enough quiet to simply tell God the truth:
I'm lonely.
I'm scared.
I'm angry.
I'm disappointed.
I'm exhausted.
I'm grieving.
I'm overwhelmed.
Stillness doesn't require us to solve the feeling.
Sometimes it simply helps us recognize it.
Bounce Back Challenge
This week, catch yourself reaching.
You don't even have to stop the behavior.
Just pause long enough to ask:
What am I feeling right now?
What am I hoping this will do for me?
Will this comfort me—or am I trying to escape myself for a little while?
Then make your choice.
The goal isn't perfect behavior.
The goal is noticing.
Because awareness creates choice.
Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE
Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE.
This live virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection.
Follow @BounceBackBlackWoman on Instagram and TikTok and visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com for registration information.
I'd love to have you at the table.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.comAvailable on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 130: What REALLY Breaks When Your Heart Gets Broken?
We use the phrase "broken heart" to describe many different kinds of pain.
The death of someone we love.
Divorce.
Infidelity.
The end of a friendship.
Abandonment or estrangement.
Losing a job.
Rejection.
These experiences aren't equivalent—but pain is still pain.
And sometimes the obvious thing we've lost isn't the only thing that needs healing.
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores the less visible things that can be wounded when something—or someone—we counted on is suddenly gone or fundamentally changed.
In This Episode
Why your pain doesn't have to be the worst pain in the room to matter
How loss can disrupt our sense of safety
Why betrayal can damage not only trust in others, but trust in ourselves
What happens to our identity when an important relationship, role, or career disappears
How new information can change the way we understand our past
Why we grieve not only what happened, but the future we expected to have
How loss can disrupt our sense of belonging and community
What happens when pain complicates our faith
Why identifying what was actually wounded can help us understand what needs to be rebuilt
A Reminder From This Episode
Your pain doesn't have to be the worst pain in the room to deserve your attention.
Someone else's suffering doesn't invalidate yours.
You can have compassion for another person's pain without abandoning compassion for your own.
And healing doesn't require pretending the loss didn't matter.
What REALLY Broke?
Sometimes the answer isn't simply "my heart."
It may have been:
Trust
Safety
Confidence
Identity
Belonging
Faith
Hope
Your understanding of the past
Your vision for the future
Your trust in yourself
Once you can name what was wounded, you can begin asking what that part of you needs.
Faith Reflection
Psalm 34:18 reminds us:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
God doesn't require our pain to reach a certain level before it matters.
And faith doesn't always prevent our hearts from breaking.
Sometimes faith reminds us that we aren't alone when they do.
Bounce Back Challenge
Think about something that hurt you—recently or years ago.
Instead of focusing only on what happened, ask:
What did this break or wound in me?
Then ask:
What would rebuilding THIS actually look like?
Choose one small action that could begin tending to that specific part of you.
Because sometimes we keep trying to heal the event.
But the event has already happened.
What we can tend to now is what happened inside us because of it.
Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE
Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE.
This virtual gathering will create space for connection, reflection, honest conversation, and community—the kind of conversation that's difficult to have through a podcast microphone alone.
Registration details are coming soon!
Follow @BounceBackBlackWoman on Instagram and TikTok and visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com to stay connected.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: BounceBackBlackWoman.com
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 129: The Strong Black Woman: What Does Carrying It ALL Cost You?
Being called a Strong Black Woman can feel like a compliment.
You’re capable. Dependable. Resourceful. You figure things out. At work, at home, in your family and friendships, people know they can count on you.
But what happens when strength stops being something you have and becomes something you believe you must constantly prove?
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del examines what it can cost us when “I can handle it” quietly becomes “I have to handle everything.”
This isn't about becoming less strong. It's about questioning whether we've defined strength in a way that requires us to carry too much—and recognizing that being capable of carrying something doesn't necessarily mean we should.
In This Episode
The Strong Black Woman identity — the pride, resilience and capability it represents, and what can happen when strength becomes an expectation
Intellect vs. energy — why knowing how to handle something doesn't mean you currently have the capacity to handle it
Competence vs. capacity — being capable isn't the same as having unlimited physical, mental or emotional resources
Independence vs. interdependence — how “I can do it myself” can quietly become “I have to do everything myself”
The invisible load — what we carry physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and through sheer responsibility
Social media and comparison — why someone else's visible output tells you very little about the support and infrastructure behind it
The relationship cost — how hyper-independence, control and difficulty receiving help can create resentment and disconnection
Redefining strength — learning to ask, receive, delegate, rest and allow other people to show up
A Reminder From This Episode
Competence is not capacity.
You can be completely capable of handling something and still be too physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually depleted to carry it well.
And:
Just because you CAN carry something doesn't mean you SHOULD.
You have already proven you're strong. You don't have to keep exhausting yourself to maintain the evidence.
Faith Reflection
In Exodus 18, Moses tries to carry the responsibility of leading and resolving the people's problems largely by himself. His father-in-law, Jethro, sees what's happening and warns him that the work is too heavy for one person to handle alone.
Moses was capable.
He was called.
He was leading.
And still, the load was too heavy for one person.
Sometimes God's provision isn't giving us more strength to carry everything ourselves.
Sometimes the provision is other people.
Bounce Back Challenge
This week, identify one thing you're carrying that doesn't have to be carried by you alone.
Maybe it's something practical you can delegate.
Maybe it's an emotional burden you need to share with someone you trust.
Maybe it's asking your partner, friend or family member for help instead of waiting for them to notice.
Maybe it's paying for help if you have the resources.
Maybe it's simply allowing something to remain undone.
And before you automatically say, “It's easier if I just do it myself,” ask:
Easier for whom—and at what cost?
The goal isn't to prove you can carry everything.
The goal is to build a life in which you don't have to.
Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE
On September 21st, we're taking the Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE!
This virtual gathering will be an opportunity to connect, reflect, and have the kind of honest conversations that are difficult to have through a podcast microphone alone.
More details—including registration information—are coming soon.
Save the date: September 21st.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: BounceBackBlackWoman.com
Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 128: Too Busy? Why It's Time to Rediscover What You Enjoy
When life gets full, the things we do simply because they bring us joy are often the first things to disappear.
Sometimes that's because life became painful. Sometimes it became demanding. And sometimes life became full of genuinely good things—careers, relationships, children, businesses, responsibilities and opportunities.
But when was the last time you asked yourself:
What do I actually enjoy doing?
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores why enjoyment deserves a place in an intentional life—even when it produces absolutely nothing.
You'll hear about:
Why good things can exhaust us, too
Rediscovering things you once loved
Giving the current version of yourself permission to discover something new
Why adults can struggle with being beginners
The pressure to be "good" at our hobbies
Why everything you're good at doesn't need to become a side hustle
Making room for joy before everything else on the to-do list is finished
Enjoyment as part of intentional living—not a reward for completing it
A reminder from this episode:
You don't have to be good at everything you enjoy. And you don't have to make money from everything you're good at.
Faith Reflection
Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 (NLT) reminds us that enjoying the fruits of our lives and our labor can itself be a gift from God.
Bounce Back Challenge
Do one thing this week simply because you enjoy it.
It doesn't have to make you better.
It doesn't have to make you money.
You don't have to share it.
And you don't have to be good at it.
Enjoyment is reason enough.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.comAvailable on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 127: The 5 REAL Reasons You Can't Fix Someone You Love
"If they would just listen to me..."
Whether it's a spouse, best friend, sibling, parent, or adult child, watching someone you love make choices you don't understand can be incredibly frustrating—especially when you believe you can see exactly what they should do differently.
But what if the answer isn't finding a better way to "fix" them?
In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores what we really mean when we talk about wanting to fix someone we love—and the important difference between recognizing genuinely destructive behavior and simply wanting someone to make the choices we would make.
In this episode:
They may not be broken—they may simply be different from you. Different priorities, communication styles, values, or choices don't automatically mean something needs to change.
They may not actually want to change. You can't manufacture readiness in another person, no matter how clearly you can see another path for them.
You may not be speaking their language. Sometimes the person wants support—but not the kind of support you're offering.
You may be solving the problem you see instead of the problem they have. Curiosity can reveal what's underneath the situation that looks so obvious from the outside.
Their life isn't yours to author. You can love, support, encourage, tell the truth, pray, and establish boundaries—but another adult's choices still belong to them.
And that's where the conversation shifts from fixing them to understanding your choices.
You can decide how you communicate.
You can decide what support you're willing to offer.
You can establish boundaries.
You can decide what behaviors you will participate in.
You can choose your proximity.
And sometimes, you can decide whether to stay or go.
A reminder from this episode:
You may not get to choose whether they change. But you do get to choose your proximity to what they're choosing.
Loving someone deeply doesn't require taking responsibility for becoming the author of their life.
Faith Reflection
Galatians 6:5 (NLT) reminds us:
"For we are each responsible for our own conduct."
We can help carry one another's burdens without assuming responsibility for one another's choices. Sometimes faith means doing what love requires of you—and trusting God with what belongs to them.
Bounce Back Challenge
Think about someone you love whom you've been trying to help, change, rescue—or maybe even "fix."
Ask yourself:
Did they actually ask me to solve this?
What part of this situation genuinely belongs to me?
What choice is mine to make now?
Maybe it's listening instead of advising. Maybe it's asking a better question. Maybe it's establishing a boundary. Maybe it's offering help and allowing them to decide whether to accept it.
Whatever the answer, remember:
Their choices belong to them. And yours belong to you.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.comAvailable on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode Summary
What does it really mean to bounce back?
For many of us, the goal after heartbreak, disappointment, loss, or failure is to get back to who we used to be. But what if that's the wrong goal?
In this concluding episode of the five-part series on Awareness, Connection, Compassion, Courage, and Resilience, Coach Del offers a different perspective. True resilience isn't about returning to your former self—it's about carrying forward the wisdom, strength, faith, and perspective you've gained through every challenge you've faced.
Because every difficult season leaves something behind.
Not just pain.
But wisdom.
Not just tears.
But perspective.
Not just loss.
But strength.
That's what it REALLY means to bounce back.
In This Episode, You'll Discover
Why resilience isn't the starting point—it's the result
How awareness, connection, compassion, and courage work together to build resilience
Why healing isn't about returning to who you used to be
A healthier way to measure your own resilience
How God uses life's hardest seasons to strengthen your character and deepen your hope
Faith Reflection
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
Romans 5:3–4 (NLT)
This Week's Bounce Back Challenge
Think about one difficult season you've already survived.
Instead of asking,
"Why did this happen to me?"
Ask,
"What did this season teach me?"
Write down three things you're carrying forward because of that experience—whether it's wisdom, stronger boundaries, deeper faith, compassion, or courage.
Don't leave those gifts behind.
Carry them into every chapter that comes next.
Because that's what it REALLY means to bounce back.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast:
Episode Summary
What does it really mean to bounce back?
For many of us, the goal after heartbreak, disappointment, loss, or failure is to get back to who we used to be. But what if that's the wrong goal?
In this concluding episode of the five-part series on Awareness, Connection, Compassion, Courage, and Resilience, Coach Del offers a different perspective. True resilience isn't about returning to your former self—it's about carrying forward the wisdom, strength, faith, and perspective you've gained through every challenge you've faced.
Because every difficult season leaves something behind.
Not just pain.
But wisdom.
Not just tears.
But perspective.
Not just loss.
But strength.
That's what it REALLY means to bounce back.
In This Episode, You'll Discover
Why resilience isn't the starting point—it's the result
How awareness, connection, compassion, and courage work together to build resilience
Why healing isn't about returning to who you used to be
A healthier way to measure your own resilience
How God uses life's hardest seasons to strengthen your character and deepen your hope
Faith Reflection
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
Romans 5:3–4 (NLT)
This Week's Bounce Back Challenge
Think about one difficult season you've already survived.
Instead of asking,
"Why did this happen to me?"
Ask,
"What did this season teach me?"
Write down three things you're carrying forward because of that experience—whether it's wisdom, stronger boundaries, deeper faith, compassion, or courage.
Don't leave those gifts behind.
Carry them into every chapter that comes next.
Because that's what it REALLY means to bounce back.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com (Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms)
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith
(Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms)
 

Episode Summary
Compassion changes how we see people. Courage changes what we do next.
In this episode, Coach Del explores why compassion and courage aren't competing virtues—they're complementary ones. While compassion helps us understand the stories behind people's behavior, courage empowers us to respond with truth, healthy boundaries, responsibility, and faith.
Through practical examples and personal reflection, you'll discover five places where courage consistently shows up in our lives: relationships, self, career, money, and faith. Because every meaningful chapter of life eventually asks us to step into the unknown.
And while fear may always be present...
it doesn't have to make the decision.
In This Episode, You'll Discover
Why compassion and courage belong together
How compassion differs from tolerance and enabling
Five places where courage consistently shows up in everyday life
Why waiting for certainty often keeps us stuck
How faith gives us the strength to take the next courageous step
Faith Reflection
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
This Week's Bounce Back Challenge
Identify one place in your life where courage has been replaced by comfort. Ask yourself, "What's the next courageous step?" Then take that one step this week. Remember, courage isn't built in one giant leap—it's built one faithful step at a time.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith
 

Episode Summary
In a world that often encourages quick judgments and short tempers, compassion invites us to slow down and look deeper.
This week, Coach Del explores why everyone is carrying something—even if we can't see it. Through relatable stories and biblical wisdom, you'll discover how compassion allows us to respond with both grace and truth, without sacrificing healthy boundaries or personal responsibility.
Whether it's a struggling family member, an overwhelmed spouse, a child making poor choices, someone experiencing homelessness, or even the person who unintentionally hurt you, compassion begins when we choose curiosity over assumptions.
In This Episode, You'll Discover
Why compassion goes beyond simply "being nice"
The difference between compassion, enabling, and excusing behavior
How curiosity can replace quick judgment
Why healthy boundaries and compassion can coexist
Practical ways to extend grace while still honoring truth
Faith Reflection
"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."Colossians 3:12 (NLT)
This Week's Bounce Back Challenge
The next time someone frustrates you, pause before reacting. Ask yourself, "What might they be carrying that I can't see?" Let that question shape your response, and see what changes—not just in them, but in you.
Stay Connected with Coach Del
🌐 Website: CoachDel.com
📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith